Oh gosh, you guys, it happened. I did something I had previously only mocked. I have hit a new level of ridiculous. I know, it’s hard to believe that is even possible, but apparently it is. I have my reasons though….
There comes a point in life when things get so overwhelming or intense or even stagnant that we start to look for something, ANYTHING to give us answers. Or at least point us in the direction which we should go!
Right now is like that. I want answers to my many, many questions… When will I sleep through the night? (Yes, me. My sleep state is directly related to the sleep states of my youngest 2 offspring). When will I have the freedom to pursue MY dreams? How much longer will this last? When can we move on to the next adventure? Is it okay for me to long for more than what I’m doing right now as a wife and mother even though it is the noblest job on the planet?
So, because I live in the 21st Century and it seems as though no one in my immediate circles can answer these questions, I do what any semi-sane person would do in my shoes:
I Google it.
Yes, you read correctly, I confess to looking for the answers of life’s toughest questions on Google.
And you know what? Google doesn’t know them.
Sure, Google can give me statistics and tips about getting young children to sleep (many of which are contradictory). Google can tell me all about setting goals. Google can give me information about all sorts of things that are kind of on topic, but can it answer the really tough questions? The ones that apply directly to me?
Because Google doesn’t know the future. It can’t know with 100% accuracy the outcome or purpose of any person’s life or circumstances. Google isn’t God.
So why do I keep Googling?
It certainly isn’t for my own amusement, because it’s pretty stinking frustrating to not actually get any answers time and time again.
I think the reason I am seeking answers on the world wide web is because the uncertainty and open-endedness of life just isn’t comfortable. Comfort is something we all crave, young and old. When we’re hungry we seek food to satisfy the ache in our bellies. When we’re thirsty we look for water to quench our parched throats. When we’re lacking anything we seek something to fill us, to make us complete again.
Where do you go when you’re lacking? Where is that first place you run to fill the void? To satisfy your thirst?
I wish I could say that every time I felt empty I ran to Jesus and He filled me up and made me better. That would be the “Good Christian” thing to say. (Side note: Any Christian who is having a “Good Christian” day has to give full credit to God. Left to our own devices and efforts, most of us will need to ask for forgiveness from Him and/or mankind within minutes of opening our eyes in the morning. We’re ALL sinners; it’s GOD who can take our mess and make it beautiful!).
But I’m not perfect and I don’t always do that. I don’t often run to Him first. Oftentimes I run to other things… Google, Facebook, shopping, watching a foreign film on Netflix or any other temporal and temporary thing to fill those holes.
Do they satisfy? Sometimes, but only for a short while. After the bandaid falls off the hole is still there, waiting to be filled.
And it’s usually then that I go to Jesus. It’s then, after I have gone through a whole list of “bandaids” that I remember that the Maker knows my heart inside and out and knows what needs healing or dealing and when and how to heal it and deal with it. <3
Isn’t that a comforting thought? That your heart is known in *such* detail by God that He knows how to mend up the broken parts so they’re like new again? Often better off than before? That’s a balm of goodness to this girl’s weary heart.
Life is full of questions begging for answers, some of which we don’t get the privilege of knowing while we’re on earth. That is a fact, whether we like it or not. It’s up to us, however, to determine what or Who we look to for comfort in the meantime. Will the fix be temporary or permanent? I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of temporary. It may take a long time, but I want the real deal; the permanent fix.
That means entrusting my life and the lives of my family to God and letting Him take charge of it. He may choose to fill me in on His plan, providing answers to some of my questions, or He might not. He might just keep saying, “Trust Me. Keep your eyes on Me. I HAVE THIS. Let go.”
And I will have to let go and trust Him, resting in His promises to never leave or turn His back on us; that He SO loves us that He gave His one and only Son to die for us, bearing every one of these burdens we struggle with today on His shoulders. There is no greater love than that.
So I challenge you: step away from the Google.
Close your wallet.
Get off Facebook.
Open God’s Word.
The more we get to know Him, the more comfortable we will become with entrusting Him with the uncertainties of this life and the more joy we’ll find when He surprises us with what He’s got in store!